8.2; Bait

We were as careful as we possibly freaking could be, in picking a library to head into. We were careful with our timing, made sure that other people would be around. Well, I mean, as many people who bother going into libraries these days. In the Southern United States.

There’s so little on Ambrose Bierce it actually makes me angry. Maybe I’m biased because of Blair, but it just seems wrong that such a remarkable man had so little written about him. I mean, I guess it wasn’t like there was nothing. Just…I guess I was expecting a lot more? Huge stacks of books written about his life, his disappearance, his family tree.

I’m weirdly tempted to track down his ancestors, even though I know they wouldn’t know Blair.

Ambrose wouldn’t, either, if he’s alive. If he was put back to his own time, he wouldn’t be, he’d have died from old age a while ago… It just, it drives me crazy, not knowing. If we had confirmed word he was dead, then we’d also have confirmed word that Clara hasn’t even been born yet.

And if I’m fixated on this, then Curtis is a man obsessed. He’s hunched over about thirty books in the past three hours, speed reading. I broke his concentration once, and I won’t be doing that again.

…Honestly I’m nervous. It’s getting darker early, thanks so much winter, and being in this library after dark is…I don’t know. It just feels different.

Curtis doesn’t want to leave yet. I kind of wonder if he’s hoping to run into something he shouldn’t. Well, that we shouldn’t.

He wants answers about himself as badly as he wants to help find the last people we know for sure Blair loved. If we did find them, I’m not sure what we’d do – I mean, isn’t it better to spare them the pain of knowing what they lost? They’d be lost and confused enough already, in our era.

And if Curtis finds himself, I don’t know what I’ll do then, either. What if he changes?

Fuck, what if the way he finds out is through the goddamn Blind Man and why do I have such a bad feeling, like the Blind Man is exactly what he’s looking for like he’s bait