Tuesday, January 8, 2013

9.2; So now we're terrorists


Our one shot to keep running is to jump the border. The patrol’s tight, but we’ve got nowhere else to go. If we double-back, it’s just a matter of ‘who will catch us first’ – the proxies, or the police.
It was stupid. We were both so fucking stupid. I don’t even know what to do, now.
I haven’t had a home in years, but I’ve never felt like I’m a million miles from ‘home’ until now. All the clusterfuck of not-knowing-what-to-do, I’ve coasted on it, and it’s never been this bad.
We’ve got Archivists on our tail, the Vision still waking us up every night, and…this far down south, we shouldn’t be able to see our breath. Sometimes, though, when Curtis and I aren’t huddled up against each other, it’s like…we’re together, but alone. And then I exhale, and feel the chill go down my spine. Tonight, I’m hearing howls – but it’s hard to hear much anything through the ringing that’s still in my ears, following the explosion.
The thing that’s bothering me most is that I’m not sure what’s real and what’s not. It’s getting close to my breaking point; I feel this itchy kind of heat under my skin, and Curtis is all, “If you get that way I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I know he’s telling the truth, but at this point…does it even matter?
I’m so tired of running from the mark in me. It’s twisted, I hate it, but it’s who I am.
Fuck it, I’m just tired of running.

Dispute Against Madness

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