Sheryl just had
a seizure. She was leaving for something or other, stopped by to check in
Curtis and me, and she just went rigid and shaky. I didn’t even recognize what
was going on until she fell over and Curtis finally did something. He got
everything out of the way, protected her head, did whatever else that I wasn’t
even really noticing. The first thing he’s said in days was, “Alcoholics
sometimes experience seizures when going through withdrawal.”
And he hasn’t
spoken since, again. We got Sheryl set up with Ivory and let her keep that Doll
with her, even though it disgusts us both. I mean, I can’t tell so much,
anymore, what Curtis thinks…but we both can tell it’s twisted. And it doesn’t
take someone new to see what’s going on with Sheryl.
She’s not Marked,
she’s a Vessel. That fucking mucus is inside her, repairing its Vessel to
attract more so it can spread, either through a Mark or by getting inside other
Vessels.
We can’t trust
her now. I mean, the most I was able to trust her before was actually going to
sleep around her, I still haven’t even told her my name. But it’s because of
her that I bled, I’m positive, and if she thinks I’m going to be one of hers she can go to hell.
Blair’s funeral
is tonight. Sal managed to figure out how we could cremate hir without
smuggling us into a crematorium; I get the feeling he’s had to do this kind of
thing before.
I don’t know if
I’m still angry. On the one hand I almost snapped Curtis’s neck today for being
so fucking still and silent like he’s gone all numb and he’s avoiding the pain
when I have to deal with it, we can’t
all just fucking shut down because what am I supposed to do without him now if
he doesn’t fucking pull himself together? How the FUCK am I expected to figure
out where to go next and deal with KNOWING that Blair’s body has been touched
and things taken off her body like the scarf and then someone RIPPED IT like,
actually tore through the scarf and it’s starting to unravel and I DON’T KNOW
HOW TO FIX IT and what the fuck was the fucking point of that to begin with?! I
know what that scarf meant, I know
who it was a gift from and Blair TREASURED it and now some FUCKER has torn it
apart and left me the scraps like they’re taunting me
I had to stop
typing. I just nearly broke through a window… I didn’t, I’ll point out, but it
woke me up to the fact that I had to just cool down for a second. Talked at
Curtis, since he doesn’t talk back. Just about…anything. Like, weather, and
this hostel, and…just, nothing really personal. I can’t get into personal right
now. I blow up.
I’ve got to be
stronger than this – I don’t even know how I’m going to deal with saying
goodbye for good.
Saying good-bye is never easy, especially when it's a good friend. I'm sorry that this happened to you.
ReplyDeleteThere are better targets out there for your rage than windows. As for Sheryl, it seems like she's still at the stage where the real her still exists. If the rumors I've heard of Aunt Flow being related to the Dying Man are true I've heard rumors of rituals that could remove a fragment from a person.
ReplyDeleteI might have to research some of those soon myself. Damn that blog.
So wait... does that mean Dying Man shards can absorb Red Cap? Or are Red Caps a different strain of Dying Man that only other Red Caps can absorb?
DeleteMainly because what I learn from INSANITY has me thinking that it's possible... but I am not 100% sure if it's just him or all of the Shards.
And to save me posting another comment, I wish I was there to see Blair go. Xe was a strong person that gave hope to others, and it's sad that such a bright flame had to blow out like that, from the likes of Daisy Chain.