4.2; Victory?

We’ve made one attempt to leave, and only one attempt. We’re not gone, so that probably tells you enough of what you need to know. Beyond that, though, it was more of a disaster than I can even start on. Or, it might not have been a disaster, but I don’t feel victorious, so…

Here’s the short version:

Daisy Chain has been lurking around outside for who knows how freaking long. For whatever reason, she and Ruby Tuesday are just getting along famously.

Others arrived at the hostel, and we were taking that as our out. Curtis went to find Sal to give him whatever money we could scrounge up (weak payment, but we’ve been nothing but destructive to this place, and these people) and I went outside to get Windmill ready.

It’s pretty damn cold, now, and honestly, I saw her breath before I heard her. She had a rope around my neck and was dragging me back, the way she did to Blair, giggling like this innocent little school girl. Windmill reared up, but that freaking horse still doesn’t like me. He didn’t do much but put a scare into her.

I grappled with the rope, managed to get it away from my neck by slicing through it (and yeah, I took a good bit of my skin out with it, but I had priorities) and went at her. Knocked that stupid hat off her bald head, bowled her over, and I tried to saw through her head. It was stupid, in hindsight.

She was physically stronger, had those ropes, and at one point she wrenched open my jaw and shoved roots down my throat. She like, actually managed to crack it – I don’t know how it didn’t break. She was tearing at my hair, too, gripping it and bashing my head back, throwing my curls away.

I think that’s about when Curtis came outside and ripped her off me. She stumbled back, and here’s where the bitch got really stupid: she went for Windmill.

I think she thought she could climb up on his back and take off with Blair’s horse, escape and leave us hanging.

He bucked her off, and stomped those blades hooves into her face. Again…and again…and again.

He didn’t stop until there was nothing left but a caved in mass. Whatever she was leaking, for her head, it didn’t look like blood or brain. I don’t even want to think about what it was.

I don’t even want to think that she’s really dead.

I mean, if she were actually dead, I wouldn’t be hearing her voice whispering at me right now, would I?

I can’t rest easy. She might be dead. I think she’s dead. But I’m hearing her, right now.

And every time Curtis speaks, it’s like…I hear him telling me that I hallucinated it, and that Daisy isn’t actually dead. Sometimes I think his lips move differently than what his words are…

I’m confused. Maybe I’m concussed, it would make sense.

Dispute Against Madness