3.1; Anyone have a place to crash?

Blair only seems alive when s/he’s having nightmares, and Curtis’s ‘theoretical medical knowledge’ has kept hir alive but won’t cut it anymore. Meanwhile, Sheryl is looking…different. A lot more awake for one thing. Either she’s laying off the booze, getting more sleep, or…it’s that freaking Doll.

Curtis says we should be rational about it being our only clue, but I want to burn the little fucker. I don’t trust it.

I just don’t know what to do. We need a hospital, but how the hell would we explain this? Plus, hospitals are hit and miss when it comes to safety. What if we deliver Blair right into the hands of an Oathbreaker or something? We could be passing hir around from one Fear to another. This is practically crueler than letting Blair be tortured, because it seems like all we can do is trade one form of it for another. Maybe.

What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be stronger than this. The old me would have slit Blair’s throat, knowing death is better. And Curtis? Would have killed him from the get-go. Rogue or not, he’s an Archivist.

Yes, I know. By that logic I should have killed myself too, right? What do you think I got into hunting for – not the health benefits, that’s for fucking sure.

My head is just…spinning. This is all too much to take, and I think Sheryl said we’re down to our last dollar again. If we’re on the street, in the cold, the chill will do Blair in, too.

And now I have to go deal with Windmill trying to physically break into our room again. Curtis thought it would be smart to bring some of Blair’s clothing out to him, sort of to let him know that s/he’s back, you know? The horse flipped. We can hardly keep him tethered out there, anymore, and at this rate someone’s going to call the cops.

That last part? Sarcasm. They already have called them once, and we had to awkwardly explain shit away and promise to provide papers on Windmill to prove that we own him legally. They gave us twenty-four hours to do so, and they have some of my ID as collateral. Fake ID, obviously.

So, yeah. That’s just one more pressing thing on our minds. We need to get out of here within the next few hours, with a game plan, and we have to do it without killing Blair.

Just fucking fantastic.

Dispute Against Madness